Pearls of wisdom from the shows philosophisers!

"I'm not immortal yet. What's mortal must die and i hate that idea.." (Monkey)

"Oh Look... a woman!" (Pigsy)

"It's a cheerful philosophy and i've heard it from people before. They're all dead now though" (Sandy)

"Let me out. 500 years under a mountain is enough. A joke is a joke!" (Monkey)

"Just because you're a Dragon it doesn't make you better than me."
(Monkey)

"A boy priest all too human, a water monster once Commander of the Heavenly host and, in the midst of beauty, the ugliness which lust used to make an angel... into a pig -- Three of the four called by their karma to save the world. The fourth, least qualified of all perhaps, is of course.. Monkey "
(Narrator)

"Alright, let battle commense! Wine and... bananas. Bring on the dancing girls." (Monkey)

"Defeated, the God of Fertility turned over a new leaf. This is why, today, very few men have babies." (Narrator)

"Grow Stick... grow again stick... grow nice and large again for King Monkey." (Monkey)

"The Great Chinese Sage, Lao Tzu said words that are beautiful are seldom true." (Narrator)

"The Jade Emperor was visiting his...'good friend'... the Star goddess Vega, on... erm, 'business matters." (Narrator)

"And you know eating babies isn't good manners, don't you?" (Monkey)

"There's nothing so stubborn as a Buddhist, nothing so stupid as a priest. I mean, what's he worshipping? Gods? I met the gods - bloody boring bunch!" (Monkey)

The Narrator

Frank Duncan, born on 1st February 1923, in Lausanne, Switzerland. Unfortunately he died, 6th february 1995, before the 'unseen' episodes could be re-dubbed. He has an enormous list of projects under his belt and was particularly popular in the 1980's British '8pm tv slot' genre; Dempsey and Makepeace, Lovejoy, The Bill, Juliet Bravo and Minder, amongst dozens more, but I'll always remember him as the guy whose 'words of wisdom' had me in stitches even though they made absolutely no sense to me... and still don't. Legend.

Legendary Quotes :

"There are worlds within worlds, some better, some worse. Not the least extraordinary are worlds which can be found in the internal plumbing of a demon in cosmic manifestation."

"Even a starving camel is still bigger than a horse."

"a boy priest all too human, a water monster once Commander of the Heavenly host and in the midst of beauty the ugliness which lust used to make an angel.. into a pig - Three of the four called by their karma to save the world. The fourth - least qualified of all perhaps, is of course.. Monkey."

"Defeated, the God of Fertility turned over a new leaf. This is why, today, very few men have babies."

"When what is indestructible meets what is irresistible, the female all too often wins."

"Pigsy is a long way from the enlightenment which transcends humanity. He is a long way too from the bottom of the cliff down which he is about to fall."

"Presently, he was a pig spirit changed into a little girl pretending to be a little boy to be offered to a water monster. It was all very simple to a pig spirit."

"The eunuch should not take pride in his chastity."

"The wicked go to hells, the good go to heavens and the pure neither live nor even die, but those hit on the head tend to fall unconscious."

"The master goes beyond the boundless land, and nothing, neither men nor demons nor Gods, nothing in all creation can hold him. Monkey is magic, a God, an immortal, but he is less than the Buddha in you."

"The Great Chinese Sage Lao Tzu said that words that are beautiful are seldom true."

"Desire is a trap. Lustful desire makes pig of people, and slaves of pigs. One single word makes possible all civilisation. It's a small word, a magic word, yet it transforms, frees everyone. You must whisper it to yourself. The word is 'NO'. "

"It is the beginning of wisdom to say I don't know."

"Few cross the river, most stay on this side, yet it is warmest in the desert, though it is home to sagacity and strangeness alike."