Pearls of wisdom from the shows philosophisers!

"I'm not immortal yet. What's mortal must die and i hate that idea.." (Monkey)

"Oh Look... a woman!" (Pigsy)

"It's a cheerful philosophy and i've heard it from people before. They're all dead now though" (Sandy)

"Let me out. 500 years under a mountain is enough. A joke is a joke!" (Monkey)

"Just because you're a Dragon it doesn't make you better than me."
(Monkey)

"A boy priest all too human, a water monster once Commander of the Heavenly host and, in the midst of beauty, the ugliness which lust used to make an angel... into a pig -- Three of the four called by their karma to save the world. The fourth, least qualified of all perhaps, is of course.. Monkey "
(Narrator)

"Alright, let battle commense! Wine and... bananas. Bring on the dancing girls." (Monkey)

"Defeated, the God of Fertility turned over a new leaf. This is why, today, very few men have babies." (Narrator)

"Grow Stick... grow again stick... grow nice and large again for King Monkey." (Monkey)

"The Great Chinese Sage, Lao Tzu said words that are beautiful are seldom true." (Narrator)

"The Jade Emperor was visiting his...'good friend'... the Star goddess Vega, on... erm, 'business matters." (Narrator)

"And you know eating babies isn't good manners, don't you?" (Monkey)

"There's nothing so stubborn as a Buddhist, nothing so stupid as a priest. I mean, what's he worshipping? Gods? I met the gods - bloody boring bunch!" (Monkey)

Series One. episodes 1-26

All of the following episodes from Monkey (Magic) season one were screened on British Television. The first, 'Monkey goes wild about Heaven', aired on 16th November 1979. The final episode, 'the end of the way', was aired on 9th January 1981. During the intermittence between seasons one and two, a two hour special was screened in Japan to appease fans of the show - This was never broadcast on British Television. *You can check out the official MONKEY press release photographs here * 1. Monkey Goes Wild about Heaven.
King Monkey is summoned to the Jade emperor who believes giving him the title ‘Great Sage equal of heaven’ and a job cleaning out the Heavenly stables will keep him out of mischief..how wrong he was !! . Monkey wreaks havoc, stealing all of the heavenly peaches, which he eats to gain immortality. He fights two of the Emperor's officials, and all three of them are expelled to Earth. Monkey gets imprisoned under a mountain of rocks, while the other two are transformed into a pig monster (Pigsy) and a water monster (Sandy). Buddha says that a holy man must be sent to fetch holy scriptures from India, to save the world.

2. Monkey Turns Nursemaid.
Buddha sends a messenger, the Boddhisattva Kuan-yin the Compassionate, to find a holy man to make the journey from China to India to fetch the great vehicle scriptures. She chooses the boy priest Hsüan Tsang, and bestows upon him the name Tripitaka. Joined by the irrepressible Monkey - with his magic wishing staff and magic powers - and a talking horse, this could be a journey to remember.

3. The Great Journey Begins.
Tripitaka and Monkey begin their perilous journey. Arriving at a village terrorised by a greedy and lustful monster, Monkey thus faces the wrath of Pigsy and his deadly muckrake. To cross the Mighty River of Flowing Sands, they must first pass the cannibalistic water monster Sandy. A sandstorm, an army of tiger ghosts - will Tripitaka end up as cat food, or will Monkey save the day?

4. Monkey Swallows the Universe.
Monkey, Pigsy, Sandy, Tripitaka and the horse enter a land ruled by the demonic Golden Horn and his wife, Silver Horn. Bewitched by a beautiful lady, Pigsy discovers that all is not what it seems. An old woman proves too much to handle even for Monkey. Tripitaka and Sandy find themselves a bit tied up when left to their own devices. When a mysterious Taoist magician causes Golden Horn to lose his bottle, things start to look up.

5. The Power of Youth.
In his mountain kingdom, the immature King of Youth dictates that everything old is useless. When the pilgrims approach, he decides to kidnap Tripitaka to gain the attention of Heaven and Earth, in an attempt to stop living in the shadow of his father, the King of Ox. When Monkey's powers prove no match for the King's fiery temper, and Pigsy and Sandy are otherwise engaged, who will save Tripitaka?

6. Even Monsters Can be People.
When Monkey kills a girl and her elderly parents, Tripitaka is left with no choice but to punish him and send him back home to his mountain of fruit and flowers. No one believes Monkey's story that the people he killed were red, blue and yellow demons disguised as humans. When the pilgrims later discover that Monkey was telling the truth, Tripitaka finds himself in grave danger, and wishes he'd never denied the demons' existence.

7. The Beginning of Wisdom.
Desperate for water due to the intense heat, the pilgrims find that the nearest village is completely dried up. The local water monster, who has a taste for the souls of boys, had cursed the village with a drought, because the villagers had no boys left to sacrifice to him. With Monkey's cloud out of action, brave Pigsy volunteers to make the ultimate sacrifice.

8. Pigsy Woos a Widow.
When Monkey saves a pretty widow from the Demon Spirit of Great Snakes, amorous Pigsy falls snout over trotters in love with her, but she only has eyes for the celibate boy priest Tripitaka. The pilgrims move on, but Pigsy stays behind and tries to win the widow's heart; but time and time again, his true pig nature is revealed. When Monkey goes to fetch Pigsy, Tripitaka and eel-phobic Sandy end up in big trouble.

9. What Monkey Calls the Dog-Woman.
When the magistrate Lord Li's stepdaughter is kidnapped by bandits, Monkey reluctantly takes on the job of catching them. He soon learns that the bandits are not what they seem, but their bark is far worse than their bite. Meanwhile, Tripitaka, Pigsy and Sandy spend the night at an inn that's owned by a wicked dog-woman. She has a big surprise in store for Tripitaka.

10. Pigsy's in the Well.
Tripitaka is visited in a dream by the restless spirit of the deceased king of the land of Cockcrow. He tells Tripitaka he was murdered by a Taoist magician and thrown into a well; for the past three years this magician has been impersonating him. With the help of the king's son, Tripitaka and his disciples set out to prove that the current king is a fake.

11. The Difference Between Night & Day.
An invisible wall separates the land of night from the land of day. The blood-sucking Queen of Night terrorises the inhabitants of her land, while everyone in the land of day is forced into slavery by their merciless king. Tripitaka finds the task of reuniting night and day very difficult, especially when Monkey becomes hopelessly besotted with a pretty girl and Pigsy falls for a lady of the night.

12. Pearls Before Swine.
The once-prosperous land of Codslow is ruled by three animal-strength immortals, and its enslaved people are dying of hunger. The immortals depend on pearls, paper and wine for their magical powers. The pilgrims offer to help a young girl and her family restore their land to its former glory. When lovesick Pigsy almost becomes roast pork, Monkey hatches a plan to end the immortals' reign of terror.

13. The Minx and the Slug.
A village headman and his wife grieve for their beautiful daughter Hai-Min who disappeared a year ago. Lecherous Pigsy offers to go and look for her. He finds a slug monster who says he is Hai-Min's reluctant husband, and tells Pigsy he can have her. Pigsy disguises himself as the slug monster and goes to live with selfish Hai-Min. How long will it be before she discovers he's not her slimy husband?

14. Catfish, Saint and the Shape-Changer.
The pilgrims enter a volcanic land that is plagued by earthquakes caused by the frequent quarrelling of two local demons; a catfish demon and a faceless shape-changer demon, who can take on the shape of anyone. The holy priest San-Chung tells Monkey, Pigsy, Sandy and Tripitaka that one of them is the shape-changer. Unable to cope with this revelation, they go their separate ways.

15. Monkey Meets the Demon Digger.
While climbing a mountain, the pilgrims discover a man who's been digging a tunnel through the mountain for the past twenty-two years, to provide an easier route for travellers. Ever-helpful Tripitaka tells his reluctant disciples that they must all stay and help dig the tunnel until it's finished. When Monkey uses his magic to help speed things up, Tripitaka is furious and dismisses him. Without Monkey around, the pilgrims fall into grave danger.

16. The Most Monstrous Monster.
Desperate to please Chun-Shou, the woman he hopes to marry, the unhappy King of Unicorns promises to find a new toy for her spoilt brat son, little Chen. When he hears about Monkey's magic wishing staff, he decides this would be ideal. By capturing Tripitaka and using his all-powerful magic ring, the king plans to defeat Monkey and steal his precious wishing staff. While Monkey struggles to resist the king's magic ring, Pigsy finds it difficult to resist Chun-Shou.

17. Truth and the Grey Gloves Devil.
Following a terrible sandstorm, the pilgrims find a village where everyone has been killed by the evil Grey Gloves Devil, a magician with the power to hypnotise and control anyone who looks into his eyes. While Pigsy lags behind, the others break their journey at another village. A bitter old woman insists Tripitaka is her long-lost son, Su Fung. Meanwhile, Pigsy gets captured and the Grey Gloves Devil looks for a new village to target.

18. Land for the Locusts.
As the pilgrims continue their journey, Monkey sees that a nearby village is being terrorised by swarms of locusts, and they're coming in their direction. Led by the power-hungry Demon Queen Grasshopper, the locusts follow the magic Lake Lok-Nor as it moves from one place to the next. Everywhere they go they bring death and destruction. Can the pilgrims stop them, or will the Queen turn everyone into pigs?

19. The Vampire Master.
The Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Buddha's Law invites Tripitaka and his disciples to stay as his honoured guests. He tells them of the difficulty in controlling the black magicians, shape-changers and bandits who live in the nearby mountains. Tragedy strikes when Tripitaka becomes critically ill with Tibetan Fever. Meanwhile, Pigsy leads the guards in a search for the vampire responsible for a girl's murder. He makes a shocking discovery.

20. Outrageous Coincidences.
To escape from a deadly blizzard in the Himalayan foothills, Monkey, Pigsy, Sandy and Tripitaka take refuge in a small cave. With Tripitaka's death from starvation looking imminent, Monkey tricks Pigsy into going out into the cold to sacrifice himself to provide food for the master. Grief-stricken Tripitaka believes he has eaten his disciple, and becomes possessed by the spirit of Pigsy

21. Pigsy, King and God.
The pilgrims arrive at the Kingdom of Red Hog, where pigs are sacred. The people hail Pigsy as their new King and God. Tripitaka discovers that the current king is a disguised demon, the Spirit of the Red Hog, and that he murdered the old king. Helped by rebels, Monkey and Sandy set out to save Princess Green Lotus and stop the evil swine before the whole country is converted to hog worship.

22. Village of the Undead.
In a deserted village, the evil male demon Wun-Lung and three beautiful witches await the arrival of Tripitaka, Monkey, Pigsy and Sandy. If they can make the four travellers believe in them, they'll be brought to life. They plan to capture Tripitaka and his disciples one by one, and convince them of their existence by killing them. Who'll be the first pilgrim to fall into the trap?

23. Two Little Blessings.
Forty years before the pilgrims' journey to India, two lovers Chun-Ying and Yu-Lee disobey the God of Fertility Ju-Lee by eloping together - love is forbidden in his country. As punishment, he separates them and turns the young Yu-Lee into an old woman, the Keeper of the Well of Small Blessings. To regain her youth and her man, she must make Tripitaka drink the magic water. Things get very strange indeed when Pigsy and Sandy drink the water and become pregnant.

24. The Fires of Jealousy.
The pilgrims enter the Kingdom of Lo-Chun, the Queen of Fire, where they are prevented from continuing their journey by the active volcanoes in the Fire and Flame mountain range to the west. The Queen of Fire has a magic fan that can extinguish the fires. Ever since her husband, the Spirit of Water Buffaloes, left her for a human woman, she's lived as a recluse. So getting her to lend them her fan could be quite a challenge.

25. The Country of Nightmares.
On their way to India, the pilgrims must pass through the Land of Nightmares, inhabited by all the legions of Hell, bad demons and wicked spirits. All humans who go there are eaten, and all others must take a magic test upon entry to the land. To allow Tripitaka to travel through safely, Monkey disguises him as a beautiful longhaired female demon, and teaches him some basic magic. Will the King of Bad Dreams see through Tripitaka's disguise?

26. The End of the Way.
Tripitaka and his disciples are just a few days away from reaching India - they can clearly see the Gold Temple of the Thunderclap ahead. The King of All Geological Ages appears and says he'll stop them reaching India. Pigsy finds the king's beautiful wife strangely familiar, he knows her from somewhere. The king captures Tripitaka and puts the indestructible Iron Collar of Death on him, to choke him to death. This looks like the end for Tripitaka.